Attitudes Around Fetish and Sex Work

Seller Motivational Sellers’ Perspective

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Sex Work

I know that some people are not keen on this term but I will be using it for the purpose of this blog. In this blog, I want to talk about the attitudes towards not just sex work but towards fetish and kink in general.

It can seem like a scary term sometimes, what do you think of when you hear or see it? I appreciate why some people don’t like it and choose not to use the term, maybe it seems like a label and let’s face it one that can and does come with negative stereotypes and attitudes.

We shouldn’t be frightened or put off by the term. I understand entirely why you may or may not use it or like it, that is the beauty of choice, we get to decide if we want to use it or not or if we want to call it something else, but I digress this blog is about way more than that term!

Looking In From The Outside

Looking in from the outside it is easy to judge and form conclusions, some people sadly jump to conclusions and form misconceptions around not only kink but those indulging in it.

Those misconceptions and such, seem amplified when buying and selling are involved, because it already (sadly) seems to be taboo to enjoy a fetish or something that others see as out of the norm.

Personally, I think a lot of the bad and negative attitudes around sex work and kink are formed from lack of understanding, media (which I will get to) and fear (again I will get to that).

Are We Scared or Fascinated?

It is normal to be apprehensive or even a little scared of things we do not understand but I also think as a society we have a fascination with sex but don’t want to discuss it because it is not the done thing.

It should be kept private, sex is still a taboo subject for many people maybe they are scared, scared to admit they have a fetish because they think it is odd. As I mentioned above I believe the media plays a part in that, so how can we be open and break the stigma around all this if we don’t discuss it or try and educate people?

I don’t like the idea that people think it is odd, not because I care if they think I am strange for loving kink myself but because it is way more common and normal than people probably care to admit and I don’t want people to miss out.

Normal is not a word I am a huge fan of because as they say there is no such thing as normal! But it is a great point, what is normal?

Why do we have to conform to other people's ideas of it? It is understandable to be scared of kink and sex work when it is sadly often painted as something seedy!

Media

I am sure you have seen the articles online and on social media as I have about selling worn items or subscription sites and of course the comment section!

I try and avoid reading the comments because they just annoy me! It’s degrading, why would people pay for that? Oh, people must be so proud of you and so on!

How is any of this helping? There are people that will read all that who are interested and indulge in a kink and it may reinforce the idea that there is something wrong or they are weird, is it just narrow minds?

Do they secretly enjoy kink? It is just clickbait and in my opinion, it is not newsworthy, by blowing sex work and kink out of proportion you feed the taboo, it is 2022!

The fact we have sex and enjoy ourselves is not news! I want to see more stuff written by sellers and buyers, the people that actually understand and live this!

Sellers Are People As Well

Again touching upon media, the article's shock of seeing anyone who is involved in sex work in a happy, healthy relationship astounds me sometimes! We all have lives outside of this. This isn’t just an opportunity for me to rant but I am very passionate about this, selling is a big part of who I am and my life as is sex, I am not ashamed to admit it!

Breaking these misconceptions down and educating people is something I will always try and do because there is a lack of respect still from people about selling, sellers and sex work, we shouldn’t be made to feel anything negative about what we do

So How Do We Change Attitudes?

Honestly, I don’t think you will ever completely change it, all we can do is discuss and educate, to encourage those that want to be involved, as I have said I won’t ever stop trying!

Embrace who you are and remember to treat each other with respect, being part of a community here is important because it is a safe space from the judgment of the outside world, a place to escape and be who you are and while I would love for that to be more common right now we need to work on keeping this community that escapism!

The Attitude Towards Buyers

Why pay when there is plenty of free stuff online? This is both a question asked and a comment made! Buyers are made to feel there is something wrong, I have seen comments saying it is odd, who would pay for that? Who would buy this? If it is not your thing, cool, move on! But shaming someone because their idea of fun and what turns them on is different to yours is totally not ok!

Ignorance is bliss and all that. But it really is not odd, kink and fetish may not be talked about openly or always in a positive way but it is a way of life for some, an occasional indulgence for others but however, it plays a part for you is fine!

Misconceptions

There is a long list of these that I have encountered over the years, selling used panties is easy money, sex work means just one thing, having a fetish is weird, paying for it is wrong, and this is dirty and degrading work.

We break down misconceptions by talking, by using our platforms and experience to educate others but I honestly think embracing who you are and what you do helps! People get into selling for many reasons but it is important to play a positive, supporting part in this community and what you do!

Sex work (or whatever you choose to call it if anything) is nothing to be ashamed of, I am a proud, passionate woman who loves to be naughty and help others, embrace the positives of it, take the term and make it your own, indulging the idea that buying, selling or kink is anything other than awesome is what will keep the negative attitudes going!

Positive Attitudes

I want to end on a positive because while there is plenty of bad and negative attitude I also see a lot of good! I see it on this site, I see it in the forms of support and understanding, patience and community!

We may not ever change the bad but we can always continue to feed the good! Please always respect each other because if we can’t respect each other and what goes on here I don’t honestly think we can expect anyone else to!

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