Slinkydog

Ya know what they say:
“One gal’s dirty ass thongs, are another man’s eternal life”

Everyone here is so fucking chill.
Hats off to every single one of you hard working salt of the earth sellers.

In my wildest lucid daydreams, I’d give anything to split myself into 10,000 copies, marry every single one of you for your own emotional, sexually gratifying and/or financial benefit and cater to your entire anything for literal lifetimes. And further somehow sniff every single one of your buttholes (after a long, got too weird on the personals section hotel bender) —independently, existing ominpresently as 10,000 of myself…and eventually unite my unite my partitioned confusing soul in doing so, joining the source of the entire universe in some kinda incomprehensible nirvana where I bury my everything in yall’s dirtiest gussets for eternity!

TLDR; heyyy thanks for being alive

The next time you slip on your favorite printed thong, nylon g string, or cutesy panties, please say a prayer for the screen printer that made it happen.

Poly fabrics, frilly fitted things, and even cotton that tiny is an absolute nightmare to stylize in every way.

Actually dealing with said nightmare right meow!

The more ya know, the more ya appreciate nice things !

There’s just something about — legit amateur iPhone, interracial backshots in portrait mode, where the fire alarm battery chirp can be heard faintly in the distance between sex grunts, squeals, and Mac n cheese sound fx — that just hits so good

Currently on lunch break, people watching smack dab downtown. Boujee cafe Karens out here are having a nuclear meltdown yelling match, calling the cops over a transient fellow blasting old school hip hop on a portable radio within 50 ft of their high society brunch — and all I can think is: “if you won’t leave this vibin’ man alone, can I please lap up your flustered pheromones off of your Versace thong from the back, and lap you up like a depraved cartoon dog while the cops are on the way?? 🐸

Man, I’m blessed that all you wonderful kinky entities vacate this little corner of the internet cosmos. I’d yap at each of you in depth, but I’m surrounded by sweaty dudes at my 9-5, bombarded by loud machines and discreetly waddling around with constant awkward boner syndrome thanks to viewers like you™️