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Hungry_Hippo

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5.0 (20) Reino Unido

Hello! I'm a lonely, big-boned (fat), balding, useless, 47 year old virgin. Always on the lookout for a bargain here, as unfortunately I have a very on-brand bank balance. I like to think my great taste in music more than makes up for all of the above.

Aspiring ladies toilet

Scraps of pity always welcome.

Loads of thank yous for reading!

Acerca de Hungry_Hippo

50 Seguidores - 34 Siguiendo - 8 Insignias

Género: Hombre

Edad: 40-50

Se unió: hace 3 meses

Visitas al perfil: 3959

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Última actividad

Hungry_Hippo

Bought my first Tenga egg from an unverified seller. I don't get it. Is it supposed to be completely sealed like this? And why is it throbbing, and makin a breathing sound? Is it... Oh god... It's... Hatching... No... No!!!!

hace 3d

7 | 19

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Hungry_Hippo

I wish you people in the dash would think before you speak. How can it be a "good morning" when my neck and shoulder hurt so much?

hace 3d

1 | 17

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Hungry_Hippo

Sellers I've worked with: when leaving reviews, don't be afraid to mention how many earth-shattering organisms you had during, or in the aftermath of our interaction. I think you can keep going back and editing reviews should the number increase when reminiscing

hace 3d

2 | 18

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Hungry_Hippo

Buyers, REMEMBER: Most sellers prioritise charm and humour over money and sales

hace 4d

13 | 26

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Hungry_Hippo

Extreme Emergency! A Seller with a profile set to accept premium buyers only, seems to have said 'hello', thus leaving me an unopenable message, and an unerasable red dot. Help?! For god's sake... just... help...

hace 4d

2 | 16

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Hungry_Hippo

Fave rain songs! Go! - Lovin' Spoonful - Rain on the Roof

hace 5d

5 | 12

Hungry_Hippo

What is it with you sellers and coffee? Doesn't anyone drink tea anymore? No wonder half of you have manky tasting wee

hace 5d

22 | 19

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Hungry_Hippo

Anyone else blame Walls' 'Funny Feet' ice cream lollies for their descent into sexual perversion?

hace 6d

3 | 22

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Hungry_Hippo

Real men don't buy vials. They buy 3 litre bottles

hace 6d

7 | 37

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Hungry_Hippo

Wish I could lay in bed all mornin', wanking and scrolling the dash, like every other day, but gotta be up and ready for church. I hate being a fuckin' vicar

hace 1sem

0 | 16

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Hungry_Hippo

Hump day came around fast. C'mon, let's see those spinal abnormalities, all you hunchbacks of Notre-DAAAMN!!

hace 1sem

0 | 21

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Hungry_Hippo

Is it alive, does it writhe, can it survive under the sun?

hace 1sem

0 | 11

Hungry_Hippo

Any other Brit buyers get into hot dommes by watching the adventures of T-Bag, after school, in the eighties?

hace 1sem

5 | 14

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Hungry_Hippo

Looking for high res 4k ultra slo-mo vid of a seller shooting a daddy-long-legs out of the air, with a jet of squirt

hace 2sem

7 | 6

Hungry_Hippo

If this site's still around in the future, I think I might spend my remaining earthly assets on a hot death-bed dash drain

hace 2sem

4 | 20

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Hungry_Hippo

Hoping something daft wins Eurovision tonight. Not like that'll happen, of course. Luckily I'm not THAT bothered

hace 2sem

4 | 12

Hungry_Hippo

I can't help but notice, a lot of you ladies are very money driven. Remember, dears; the best things in life are free

hace 2sem

6 | 10

Hungry_Hippo

Well I was walkin' down the street, just-a havin' a wank...

hace 3sem

2 | 15

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Hungry_Hippo

Question for Batman fans: Which Batman universe characters would you be most/least reluctant to let use your lavatory/bathroom. For me; Most - Clayface, Least - probably Catwoman

hace 3sem

3 | 6